Frequently Asked Questions About Therapy, Trauma + EMDR

Yep. You don't have to convince me that something was objectively terrible enough to count.

Sometimes trauma comes from one really obvious experience. Sometimes it's years of smaller things, chronic stress, difficult relationships, high-pressure work, or having to stay on guard for so long that your brain got really good at it.

If something is still affecting your sleep, relationships, mood, body, or ability to actually enjoy your life, we can work with that. We don't need to spend therapy debating whether you're allowed to call it trauma.

This is one of the most frustrating parts of being a self-aware person.

You can know exactly why you shut down during conflict and still shut down. You can know you're safe and still feel your body go into panic mode. You can understand your childhood, your attachment style, your triggers, and all the other things you've probably already Googled and still think, okay, cool... so why am I still doing this?

Understanding something is useful. It just doesn't always change the reaction.

That's usually where I'm interested in going a little deeper than insight alone.

Then I don't want you to spend another year talking about the same stuff either.

Talking can absolutely be useful, and sometimes that's exactly what we need to do. But if you've explained something 100 times and you're coming to me because it still hasn't changed, I'm probably not going to assume that explaining it for the 101st time is the missing ingredient.

Depending on what's going on, we might use EMDR, Brainspotting, CPT, parts work, practical strategies, or something else entirely. We can figure out what makes sense once I actually know you.

EMDR sounds much weirder when you Google it than it usually feels when you're actually doing it.

Basically, we're helping your brain work through something that still seems to be getting treated like it's happening now, even though you know it's over. We use what's called bilateral stimulation while you notice what comes up—thoughts, memories, emotions, body sensations, whatever is there.

You're awake. You know what's happening. You're still in control. And no, I'm not hypnotizing you or secretly accessing your subconscious.

We'll also talk through what we're doing before we actually do it. I'm not going to spring EMDR on you halfway through an appointment.

No, and for some people that's a huge relief.

I need enough information to understand what we're working on and make sure we're approaching it safely, but you don't necessarily have to walk me through every single detail of an experience.

Sometimes you don't want to say it all out loud. Sometimes you've already told the story enough times. Sometimes you genuinely don't have words for parts of it.

We can work with that.

Mostly: we have more time.

In a regular therapy session, sometimes we finally get into the thing we actually wanted to work on and then... great, our 50 minutes are up.

An EMDR intensive gives us a longer block of uninterrupted time so we can stay with the work instead of automatically stopping because the session is over.

That doesn't mean longer is always better. We'll talk about what you're wanting to work on and whether an intensive actually makes sense for you.

Brainspotting is another way we can work with things that don't seem to be changing through conversation alone.

It uses where you look, what you notice in your body, and what comes up internally as part of the processing. I know that description sounds a little unusual. It's one of those things that's easier to understand once you actually do it.

Some people really like it, especially when they can tell something is happening internally but can't quite put it into words.

And some people prefer something else. That's fine too. You don't need to show up already knowing whether you're an “EMDR person” or a “Brainspotting person.”

Honestly, it can look a lot like still being very good at your job.

You might handle calls just fine, keep showing up, take care of what needs to be handled, and be the person everybody else relies on.

Then you go home and can't turn your brain off. You're irritable. You don't sleep well. You're always scanning what's around you. You replay certain calls. You're numb when you don't want to be or on edge when there's no obvious reason to be.

Sometimes there's one call you can point to. Sometimes it's the accumulation of hundreds of things you've seen over the years.

It doesn't have to completely wreck your ability to function before it's worth dealing with.

Fair.

You may need to give me context sometimes because I obviously haven't lived your exact experiences, but you shouldn't have to spend three appointments convincing me that your work is different from a normal stressful day at the office.

I work with first responders and people in high-stress professions, so we can get to the part that's actually affecting you- sleep, irritability, hypervigilance, cumulative exposure, relationships, the call you can't stop thinking about, or whatever else followed you home.

Absolutely.

A lot of the people I work with are very functional. They work. They take care of their families. Other people depend on them. From the outside, they may look completely fine.

They've just gotten really, really good at functioning while anxious, exhausted, disconnected, hypervigilant, or miserable.

You don't have to wait until everything falls apart to decide you're tired of living that way.

Mostly that I'm not going to spend therapy trying to make you better at pretending your brain works differently than it does.

I'm neurodivergent too, but that doesn't mean I'm going to assume I automatically understand your brain because I understand mine.

We might talk about ADHD, autism, executive functioning, sensory needs, masking, burnout, routines, relationships, or why something that looks ridiculously easy on paper somehow feels impossible to actually do.

I'm much more interested in figuring out what works with your actual brain than teaching you how you're supposedly meant to function.

Sometimes the coping skill isn't the problem.

Sometimes it's just a terrible fit for you.

A strategy can be wonderful for somebody else and completely useless for your brain, your nervous system, your schedule, or your actual life. This comes up a lot with ADHD and autism, especially when executive functioning or sensory needs are part of the picture.

So if you've downloaded the apps, bought the planner, made the morning routine, tried the breathing exercise and somehow still ended up here, I'm not going to make you feel like you failed therapy homework.

We figure out why it didn't work and go from there.

Yes, because “have you tried being less stressed?” is not particularly useful advice.

Sometimes you genuinely have a lot on your plate. Your job isn't becoming easy next Tuesday. Your kids still need you. You still have responsibilities. People may still rely on you.

We can look at what can change, what's keeping your nervous system stuck on high alert, where you're carrying things you don't need to carry, and how you recover when the stressful parts of your life aren't going anywhere anytime soon.

The goal isn't to create a magical stress-free life. It's to make the life you actually have feel more livable.

Because you can want something and still have a hard time with it.

Moving, getting married, having a baby, starting a new job, ending a relationship, becoming a parent, changing careers- good changes are still changes. They can mess with your routines, relationships, identity, sense of control, and what you thought your life was going to look like.

You don't have to hate what's happening to need some help adjusting to it.

A lot more than postpartum depression.

Pregnancy and becoming a parent can bring up anxiety, identity changes, relationship stress, difficult birth experiences, overwhelm, intrusive thoughts, old family stuff, or the strange realization that your entire life changed while everyone keeps asking if you're enjoying every minute of it.

We can make room for the complicated parts too.

You can love your baby and miss your old life. You can be grateful and overwhelmed. You can have wanted this for years and still wonder what the hell happened to your sense of self.

Those things can exist at the same time.

If by “everything” you mean you've already been told to stop looking at your phone, buy blackout curtains, drink less caffeine, meditate, and develop an elaborate bedtime routine... I believe you.

CBT-I, or Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Insomnia, is different from generic sleep-hygiene advice. It's a structured treatment specifically for insomnia that looks at the patterns that can keep sleep problems going.

So no, my entire treatment plan isn't going to be telling you that screens are bad before bed.

That's actually pretty normal.

You don't need to show up with a diagnosis, a perfectly organized list of goals, and a PowerPoint explaining your childhood.

You can come in knowing something isn't working anymore.

We'll talk about what's been happening, what you've noticed, what you've already tried, and what you'd like to be different. Usually we can figure out where to start from there.

I offer in-person therapy at Post Storm Therapy in Cambridge, Ohio, at 319 Wheeling Ave, as well as virtual therapy for clients in Ohio, Minnesota, and Indiana who are eligible for telehealth services.

If you're not sure whether I can work with you where you're located, just reach out and we can figure that part out.